There is a Taoist saying:
“A person’s life is measured in breaths;
to conserve breath is to nourish life.”
Chinese philosophy teaches that we are born with a certain number of breaths, and it’s up to us to decide how we’ll use them.
Breathing quickly shortens life, while breathing calmly and evenly nourishes it. When our breath is steady, the body believes the world is safe. The nervous system relaxes, stress hormones like cortisol fall, and the body can finally rest and heal.
When we’re under stress, however, our breathing becomes shallow — a natural reaction to danger. It helps when you’re running from an elephant or, in modern life, dodging a car. But when stress lingers too long, it pulls energy away from our organs and floods the muscles instead, preparing us to fight or flee.
Prolonged stress traps us in one of four survival states: fight, flight, freeze, or fawn.
- Fight and flight make our breath fast and sharp.
- Freeze makes us hold it in until our lungs ache.
- Fawn, the need to please, ties our breath to someone else’s approval.
No matter the form, when the breath breaks, the body thinks the world has, too.
There are countless ways to return to calm, but two of my favorites are rescue breathing and box breathing.
Rescue breathing: inhale to a count of six, exhale to seven — the longer exhale tells your brain you are safe.
Box breathing: inhale for four counts, hold for four, exhale for four, hold again for four.
As you breathe, relax your muscles and repeat a gentle phrase:
“I am safe.”
“I am calm.”
“I am enough.”
Breathing is like learning an instrument — it takes time, patience, and practice. But with each mindful breath, you are giving life back to yourself.